TIME TO LET GO
Copyright 1997, Sarah Hartwell/Cats Protection League
Adapted, with permission, from Cat
Recourse Archive and
edited by Dog Breed Info Center®.
A guide to euthanasia, the death of a dog and pet bereavement
Ideally we would like our dogs to die peacefully in their sleep,
and indeed many do. We are also familiar with the idea that injured,
sick or very old dogs 'go off to die', but often they die from
dehydration, starvation or self-neglect because they are unable or
unwilling to drink, eat or even seek attention. Sadly some dogs do go
missing, never to return, and this makes it hard to let go because there
is always hope, however faint, that he will one day return. Equally
sadly, others die suddenly for no apparent reason or meet an untimely
end in an accident such as a road traffic accident. The disappearance or
sudden death of a well-loved pet causes much anguish because the owner
has had no time to prepare for this and may be unable to say goodbye in
the way that they would have wished.
With recent advancements in dog care and medical knowledge, most
pet dogs have long and healthy lives, but some will also reach a point
when life is no longer enjoyable. When a dog reaches such a point in his
life, the owner must decide whether it would be kinder for the dog to be
put to sleep to prevent further suffering. Euthanasia is an act of love
towards a dog which is no longer able to enjoy life.
What is euthanasia?
Euthanasia literally means 'gentle death'. Other terms you may
hear are 'put to sleep', 'put down', 'put out of its misery' or, less
kindly, 'destroy'. Veterinary staff may use the term 'humane
destruction' which is simply a technical term for putting an animal to
sleep.
The decision to end a life is never easy. It is a personal, loving
decision to euthanase a pet for which the quality of life has
deteriorated. It takes courage to assume this last duty and it is our
last responsibility to a pet which has given us love and companionship.
There is also no easy human comparison. The bond between dog and owner
is a very special one. It is easy to become emotionally caught up in
keeping your dog alive when you know that there is no hope of him
regaining his health.
Points to Consider
Your vet is an invaluable source of advice when you feel the time
for euthanasia may be approaching. He or she cannot make the decision
for you, but he can help you to decide when it is time to let go. You
need to consider things from the dog's point of view.
* Is your dog in incurable pain or continual discomfort which
cannot be alleviated by drugs?
* Is treatment of his condition no longer possible?
* Has he suffered severe injuries from which he will never
recover?
* Does he have an age-related or illness-related condition which
cannot be alleviated and which now causes misery e.g. advanced senility
or incontinence?
* Is he suffering from a terminal illness which has now reduced
his quality of life to such a point that he is no longer happy?
* Does he have a behavioral problem which you cannot cope with
and which means he cannot be re-homed?
* Has your dog had a puppy which has an inoperable deformity
which will give him a poor quality of life?
Making the decision
The decision almost always causes much soul-searching, especially
if you and your dog have been companions for several years. What matters
to the dog is quality of life not length of life since a dog has little
concept of future time. An illness may be treatable for a period of
time, but there eventually comes a point when the dog no longer enjoys
life. He may be in visible distress or withdrawn.
Having seen your dog when he is happy and healthy, most owners recognize
the signs given by a dog which is miserable. Your vet will be
able to tell you whether the dog has a treatable ailment or is
approaching the end of his life.
Warning signs are:
* Not eating or drinking
* Withdrawn or lethargic
* Neglecting himself
* Incontinence
* Signs of pain - he may cry out if touched
* Cannot get comfortable
* Unwilling to move about
* Tumors or injuries
* Unable to hold head up when at rest
Since some of these can also be symptoms of treatable illness, you
need to discuss your dog's welfare with your vet. He will be able to
advise you and help you to make the right decision for your dog, but he
cannot make the decision for you.
A Last Goodbye
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Sometimes it is possible to delay euthanasia for a day without
causing suffering for example where he has a terminal illness or is
extremely old and the euthanasia is planned in advance. You may wish to
give your dog a last night of pampering, his favorite foods or foods
which were normally forbidden. This is a time in which to say goodbye
and reassure him that he is very much loved. However, if he is
suffering, or is already under anaesthetic, he will not enjoy having his
misery prolonged. |
|
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Giving Permission
Your vet will usually ask you to sign a consent form giving
permission for your dog to be euthanased (put to sleep). This is often
worded along the lines of:
I, ......................., give permission for the humane
destruction of my dog ................
Signature ......................
Date ..............................
or
I, ......................., give permission for the euthanasia of
my dog ................
Signature ......................
Date ..............................
Very occasionally your vet will ask permission by telephone. This
may happen if your dog is having an operation and it becomes apparent
that euthanasia would be kinder than allowing him to regain
consciousness, for example the vet discovers advanced cancer.
How Is Euthanasia Performed?
In pet dogs, euthanasia is performed by an anaesthetic overdose
injected into the vein of a foreleg. Some fur will be clipped from the
foreleg first. In some cases, the vein can be difficult to locate and
occasionally a couple of attempts may be needed to find it. In elderly
or sick dogs where the veins have collapsed, the injection may be made
into a kidney or the heart. A veterinary assistant, or the owner, will
gently restrain the dog while the injection is given. If the dog is held
firmly, but gently, this will cause little or no distress. If the dog is
extremely difficult to handle, he may have to be placed in a 'crush
cage' with sliding sides and sedated first; this is less stressful than
trying to corner and restrain an agitated dog.
How Quickly Does It Happen After The Needle Has Been Inserted?
The answer is very quickly. The dogs loses consciousness within
seconds of the injection starting and death follows a few seconds later.
If you are holding the dog, you will feel him exhale, relax and become
heavier in your arms. Urine may trickle from his bladder as the muscles
relax. The vet will check for a pulse or eyelid-flick reflex and if
there is any chance at all that the dog is deeply unconscious, he will
give a second injection into a kidney or the heart. Your dog will not be
aware of a second injection if it is needed.
Most vets will place the dog into a natural looking sleeping
position (he will look as if he has fallen asleep) and close his eyes
since animals do not always close their eyes when they die. Because all
the muscles of the face have relaxed, his lips may pull back into what
looks like a grimace. This is simply due to relaxation of the muscles
and to gravity and is not a sign of pain, but it can cause concern if
you did not expect it.
Should I Stay To The End?
This is a personal decision. Some owners feel that it is their
last duty to be there. Others prefer not to be present. Many take a
friend or family member with them for emotional support.
Most vets will allow you to remain with your dog during euthanasia
if you wish. If he does not want you present, ask why and ask if another
vet at the practice can perform the euthanasia with you present. If you
become distressed then this will upset your dog and make it harder to
handle which is traumatic for all concerned. Your vet understands that
this is a difficult time and he will only ask you to leave if you become
so upset that it is impossible for him to perform the euthanasia. If you
remain calm this will reassure your dog and make the end very peaceful.
Not all owners wish to be present and there is no shame in this.
Some people simply cannot stand the sight of injections. Your vet will
allow you to say goodbye to your dog and leave the consulting room. If
you are taking your dog's body away with you, he will call you back in
afterwards. Your dog will be treated with as much respect and dignity
whether or not you are present.
If you have provided a towel or blanket, your vet will normally
wrap or cover your dog's body. Otherwise, he may place him in a black
bag. This is not a sign of disrespect, it is for hygiene and your own
privacy. A few veterinary practices have a place where you can sit for a
few minutes afterwards and regain your composure. If you do need a few
moments before you are able to leave the surgery, tell the veterinary
assistant. Alternatively they may be able to help you back to your car,
but bear in mind that they are unlikely to have the time to sit with
you.
Can I Have My Dog Put To Sleep At Home?
If you are willing to pay a call out fee, your vet might euthanase
your dog in your own home. Both you and your dog may find this less
traumatic than waiting at the vets surgery. However, locating your dog when the vet arrives may be a problem as he knows the best hiding
places. Many dogs have been put to sleep enjoying a last meal of steak or
cheese. In the case of a home visit where a veterinary nurse is not
available, and the vet does not feel that you are able to restrain the
dog, he may sedate the dog first and then inject into the kidney or
heart. This is less distressing for all concerned than trying to
restrain an agitated dog.
Do not be surprised if your vet makes a hasty exit afterwards, he
does not want to intrude upon your grief and he will have other calls to
make.
Do Dogs Know What Is About To Happen?
If you are agitated or upset, your dog will detect this and become
upset himself. However, he does not know why you are upset and he does
not know that this visit to the vet is any different from other visits
e.g. for vaccinations.
How Much Does Euthanasia Cost?
The price will vary from area to area and vet to vet, but
around $50- $60 (it may be more for very large dogs) is the normal price range for euthanasia. It will be more expensive
if there are other fees involved e.g. for tests, operations or if the
vet performs the euthanasia in your own home. Some vets will cremate
your dog for you. The cost of this roughly ranges from $85 for dogs under 20
pounds, about $85 for medium size dogs and about $105 for large dogs.
When Do I Pay?
This all depends on the vet, but vets usually understand that it is difficult to write
checks when you are
in a state of shock or grief. If you are a regular customer he may send
you an invoice after a couple of days. Alternatively, you may be able to
prepay when you arrive at the surgery - ask about this when you make the
appointment and arrive a few minutes early. If you pay in advance or by
invoice, you may be able to leave the surgery by its back door rather
than walk back through the waiting room.
When a Dog Dies Unexpectedly
Many dogs die peacefully of natural causes or by euthanasia.
Although this is expected or even planned, it can still be a shock when
it actually happens. When a dog dies suddenly or unexpectedly or in an
accident this is more traumatic for the owner and feelings of grief are
compounded by feelings of anger and often guilt.
Following an accident of any kind it is all too easy to say 'if
only I had done this instead of that', but you had no way of knowing
that your dog would meet with misfortune. Try to think of the good times
you enjoyed together and, although it is hard, try not to feel guilty
about an event you could not have foreseen. Owners are not expected to
be psychic and however hard you try to ensure your dog is safe,
accidents do indeed happen'.
Equally shocking to the owner is the sudden death of a dog. Most
often this is due to a sudden stroke or heart failure or to an illness
or condition where there were no symptoms for you or your vet to detect.
Sometimes, unknown to the owner, a dog has been in an accident which
left no outward marks, but which caused internal damage. A post mortem,
should you request it, may identify the cause of death, but dogs very
occasionally die for no known reason (in humans this is called Sudden
Death Syndrome). It is more upsetting if he was young and apparently
healthy, but it is very possible that he had a birth defect, such as an
abnormal heart, which led to his sudden and unexpected death. It is
unfair to yourself to feel guilty at not noticing signs of illness if
there were no signs to for you to detect, but you may wish to discuss
the death with veterinary staff. They may not be able to tell you the
cause of death, but they can often reassure you that you could not have
anticipated or prevented such a sudden death.
Just as with euthanasia, you need to decide how to deal with his
body if he has died in a road traffic accident. If the body of a dog is
not collected from a roadside after several hours, the local Council's
Cleansing Department usually collect it for incineration. If you find
the sight of a body too distressing, a friend or neighbor may be able
to help you or you could place a towel over it before moving it. If you
cannot bury your dog, many vets will allow you to leave his body at the
vet surgery where the body can be dealt with by the vet or be collected
by a pet cemetery or pet crematorium if you make appropriate
arrangements. The following will help you decide on a suitable course of
action.
How Do I Dispose of the Body?
There are several options for disposal of your dog's mortal
remains following death. In the case of a terminal illness or old age
when euthanasia is not sudden or where death is expected, owners are
encouraged to think about the disposal of the body in advance. These
depend on where you live and on how much you wish to spend. Only in
cases where the body poses a serious risk to human health will you be denied permission to deal with his
remains as you wish.
Your vet can dispose of the body for you. The body will be stored
in a veterinary deep freeze (for hygiene purposes) and collected for
incineration by a firm licensed to incinerate animal remains or 'medical
waste'. Some vets can provide individual cremation; it is best to ask
about this in advance if possible so that you know what options are
available to you.
You can arrange for a pet cemetery or pet crematorium to collect
the body from your vet. The body will be labeled with your name and the
dog's name, and stored in the veterinary deep freeze until collected. If
the euthanasia was expected, you may be able to take the body to the pet
cemetery or crematorium yourself.
Pet cemeteries and crematoria offer several services: individual
cremation where the ashes are either returned to you or buried at the
crematorium; cremation with other animals with the ashes scattered in
the garden of rest or individual burial in a cemetery plot. Pet
cemeteries have no legal protection so check that it is not likely to be
bought up for redevelopment. If it is your wish, cremation or burial may
often be accompanied by a short memorial service. Look in the Yellow
Pages or for leaflets at the vet surgery for details of pet cemeteries
and pet crematoria and their prices.
You can bury the dog in your own garden (or friend's yard)
unless local bylaws forbid this. The grave must be at least 3 feet deep
to deter scavengers. It is a sensible precaution to place a paving slab
or heavy object on top of the grave until the ground settles as added
protection from scavengers. Later on you may wish to plant a rosebush or
place a memorial on the grave. Once a dog has been buried, you are not
permitted to exhume an animal's body.
If you take your dog home for burial, he must be buried as soon as
possible (within hours) otherwise putrefaction (decay) will set in. If
you cannot take your dog's body home immediately, your vet may be able
to store it in the veterinary deep freeze for a day or two. It is not
advisable to store the body in your domestic deep freeze. If you do not
collect the body on the arranged day, it will be collected for
incineration.
Burial, cremation or incineration are the normal means of
disposing of your dog's mortal remains. Some owners arrange to donate
their dog's remains to a nearby veterinary school in the same way that
people donate their bodies to medical science. A few arrange for
taxidermy although the results are often disappointing.
Will My Other Dogs Mourn?
It is impossible to say exactly what emotions dogs feel, but if
you have any other dogs they will certainly be aware that someone is
missing from their lives. It is unlikely that they mourn in the human
sense of the word, but there will be some behavioral changes as they
adjust to the gap in their lives.
If the dogs were sociable, the surviving dogs may search, cry out
or even pine. They will need individual attention and reassurance. If
they were unsociable or indifferent to each other, the survivors might
simply rearrange themselves into a new hierarchy, dividing up their
former companion's territory between them. Sometimes the surviving dog(s)
blossom if they were previously bottom of the pecking order.
Should I Show My Other Dogs The Body?
If there is no danger of infection then this is a personal choice.
Some owners say that the surviving dogs do not search for a companion,
having seen the body. Others say that any veterinary smells on the body
disturbed their other dogs. They may sniff around the body, lick him and
maybe try to wake him up before concluding that their friend has gone.
We cannot know what dogs understand by death, but they probably have
some awareness that a dead animal does not return to life. If there is
no danger of infection and you believe that it will help your other dogs
come to terms with the loss of a companion, then by all means allow them
to see and smell the body.
How Soon Should I Get Another Dog?
If your dog was put to sleep as the result of an infectious
illness, then your vet may advise you to let a period of time elapse
before getting another dog. This is to reduce the risk of infection
remaining in your home.
Apart from this, it is a personal decision. Some people cannot
live without K-9 companionship and get another dog almost
immediately, sometimes within hours. Others would consider this to be
indecent haste. Many owners need a period of time to come to terms with
the loss of a pet; how long this takes varies from person to person.
Some feel that getting another dog too quickly would be disrespectful to
their former companion. A few owners take on another dog before their
pet goes into terminal decline; this is only possible if the dog is
sociable and there is no risk of infection.
Important: Do not get a new dog if you are emotionally upset. Your new dog will not know you just lost a friend, will not know you are morning, they will simply read your emotions as a weakness, and they will instinctually feel the need to be YOUR pack leader. If you do not feel mentally strong, do not bring another dog into the house until you do.
Remember that the new dog will not replace the one you have lost.
He will commemorate your previous dog, but will have a personality all
his own. If you try to replace your dog with an exact duplicate, you are
likely to be disappointed as all dogs are individuals.
Coping With Pet Bereavement
All dogs die, whether from old age, accident, illness or
euthanasia. Dogs have a shorter lifespan than humans, although most owners would like to think their
dog is
immortal, especially if he is hale and hearty in his late teens or
beyond.
The death of a well-loved pet is on a par with the death of a
human family member, despite what thoughtless people may say. Grief or
anger are natural reactions to the death of an animal companion. Most
people need time to come to terms with the loss of a close animal
friend. Many seek consolation in remembering the joy that their dog brought them. Others find it harder to come to terms with pet
bereavement especially if the dog had been rescued, nursed through
illness or was their main companion.
No-one who has had to make the decision to euthanase a pet will
deny that there are feelings of loss and perhaps guilt. However owners
must take some comfort in having been able to be merciful to their loved
pets. In a sense the owner has taken on the pain of a loving act of
mercy in exchange for the suffering their dog has been spared from.
It sometimes helps to share your feelings, but people who have
never lost a pet themselves may seem unsympathetic. Many GPs and
religious ministers are now sympathetic to those who have lost an animal
family member and can offer bereavement counseling. Suppressing
feelings of grief is unhealthy and the Society for Companion Animal
Studies (SCAS) runs a Pet Befriender Referral Helpline which can put you
in touch with a Pet Befriender in your own area. Pet Befrienders
understand just what you are going through, having experienced it
themselves, and know that it helps to talk about your feelings after the
death of a pet.
Resources
Some helpful books are:
Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates
ABSENT FRIEND
Goodbye Dear Friend
(paperback)
Goodbye,
Friend Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet
Surviving the Heartbreak of
Choosing Death for Your Pet
Coping With Sorrow on the Loss of
Your Pet
The Loss of a Pet
A
Legacies of Love, A Guide
to Healing from the Loss of Your Animal Loved One [UNABRIDGED]
For those with children
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney
Dog Heaven
For Every Dog an Angel
I'll Always Love You
Forever Friends : Resolving
Grief After the Loss of a Beloved Animal
Pet Loss : A Thoughtful Guide for
Adults & Children
Finally ....
Modern drugs are extremely fast-acting and the end is very
peaceful compared to the latter stages of a terminal illness or
age-related illness. Your vet will administer an overdose of anaesthetic
by injection and the dog will simply fall into a painless and final
sleep. If, during his life, your dog has been a cherished member of your
family, this is the last, and often most compassionate, duty you can
perform for him.
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Beamed From The Bright Cattery In The Sky
(Michael Hatwell, The Cat Magazine)
"praedilecta Sappho ibi nuper ascensa sic loquitu"
In case you have been wondering
Just how I am getting along
In my new surroundings
Or worry whether I have learned to cope
With the easy rhythm and pace
For which this place is renowned
Then listen: I have been chasing little mice again
Sweeter, lighter, infinitely more fragrant
Than any I ever brought into the bedroom
For your pleasure
In the old days.
That having been said,
I wouldn't for all the world wish you to infer
That they stint the grub up here:
Admittedly
The celestial fish are not especially exciting
(Their natural zodiac ripeness has had to be homogenised
for the general run of feline palates)
But on the plus side
The nice cat-lady who comes round,
All gowned in blue (my favourite colour)
And with glory crowned,
Pours out a warm and creamy whiteness
That is literally
Quite heavenly.
Someone usually remembers
To cut my claws
And tickle my ear
So that side of things is catered for,
One might say,
Adequately enough.
I think of you sometimes
Certain that you will come one day
To take me on your knee
And talk to me the way you used to.
When that day comes
I shall let you know
Loudly and unambiguously
That things round here have finally begun to go
Really very well indeed:
I shall add to ordinary space and time
My own particular dimension
Of thick, soft-throated sound.
*********************************************************************
RAINBOW BRIDGE (Anon)
"Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that
pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hill for all our
special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of
food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill or old are restored to health and
vigour; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again,
just as we remember them in our dreams of days gone by. The animals are
happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone
very special to them who had to be left behind. They all run and play
together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the
distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly
he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs
carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when your and your special friend
finally meet, you cling to each other in joyous reunion, never to be
parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again
caress the beloved head and you look once more into the trusting eyes of
your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together........"
**********************************************************************
The Animals' Eden (Anon)
The Animal's Eden is a huge, beautiful walled garden where all
pets go until such time as their human companions can join them. Only
pet animals go to this walled garden and there are other special places
for all the other animals, and especially beautiful places for animals
who have suffered while on Earth and whose souls need peace and healing
before they can move on. The garden is full of lawns and hedges, flower
borders and shrubberies, wildflower meadows and patios of red brick. All
of this is surrounded by a wall, just like a Middle Ages English garden,
but much, much larger. The wall is not to keep the animals in and the
garden is so huge that none of them feel as though they are in any way
enclosed. And in any case there is a special gate, but I will come to
that later.
In the Animal's Eden all the pets that have passed over and are
waiting for their special human are free to do what they want, and
because it is a heavenly place, none of them want to do anything that
harms their animal friends. The horses and ponies graze and gallop in
the meadows. The dogs romp on the lawns and sniff in the shrubberies.
The cats lounge on the patios, basking in the sunshine, or take their
ease in the dappled shade of trees. Birds are no longer caged, but fly
free in the trees, eating the plentiful fruit and seeds. None of them
actually feel hungry, but are provided with heavenly food if they wish
so that they can eat without harming the others waiting alongside them.
The garden is full of every kind of animal that has ever been a pet and
which has someone special it wishes to wait for.
There is a special arch in the garden wall, the sort of brick arch
which might have held a wrought iron gate in earthly gardens. Sometimes
one or more of the animals gets a funny feeling, a bit like butterflies
in the tummy. Those animals stop their playing or basking and make their
way to the arched gate. Something special is about to happen. When they
reach the gate they can see that their special human is walking towards
the gate. Then, because the Animals' Eden is a place for animals only,
those animals can walk through the arch to join their human friend(s)
and walk together in the sunshine on the next stage of their souls'
journey. For although the garden is a beautiful and happy place, there
is nothing more joyful than a reunion between dear friends who have been
apart too long.
.
